Saturday Morning with TAPs - a MUST read

     I'm standing in the doorway of a room in Bicentennial Chapel, Redstone Arsenal, Huntsville, Alabama.  I turn and see a little guy about four years old with wire rimmed glasses, coat swinging open and blond un-combed hair.  He's holding the hand of a Soldier walking down the hallway.  I hear him say something to the Soldier.  "My daddy was killed in the war and now he's in heaven."  Thankfully, the Soldier is quick on his feet and says, "That's a good place to be."  "Yes, it is," the boy responds.

     Where do you hear these types of things from someone so little?  At a TAPS event, Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors.  This organization sponsors events to help the Families of Soldiers killed in action, by accident, by suicide, whatever means; to cope with their loss.  Childcare is provided for the little ones who will never know their Father, Mother, Uncle, or Aunt.  Then there are programs for everyone from 4 years old to grandparents.
     I'm standing with the teen group participating in a "Good Grief" Camp.  With the teens, they start by going around the room and talking about their favorite color, food, most embarrassing moment etc. - throwing a small ball to the next person to talk.  Soldiers are there with them in the room talking about their favorite things.  It's all very light and a great ice-breaker.

  
Light-hearted suddenly turns to somber...
     "You don't have to speak," the moderator says,  you can pass to the next person."  "This is a safe place," she says.  "Nothing leaves the room unless there is concern you may hurt yourself."  The room takes a much different air.
It starts simply, "What is the name of the person you're here for?"   All answer quietly - naming their lost loved one.
 "How were they related to you?"  - Answers?  Dad, Uncle, Stepdad, sister..."

Okay those of you who have read thus far.  Sear the following in your memory and remember why we do this.

The next question to our teens:  "How did your loved one die?"
Responses?  IED - "Improvised Explosive Device" (Bomb planted by a coward), RPG - "Rocket Propelled Grenade"..."a sniper, the bullet entered through his flak vest and hit his liver"..."we didn't know where his body was for a month"..."he killed himself" - "he killed himself..."

Is there anything you'd like to ask them if you could?  "Did he die immediately or not?"  "Why did you kill yourself?"  Why?  Why did you ride the command vehicle?  Why did you kill yourself?

There are some tears - and alot of silence...What would you say?  Many had been to a Good Grief Camp before.  Next was to take magazines and cut out pictures that remind them of their loved ones...

There are some who believe it is best just to put all the sadness away.  Forget about it.  Get over it, all that.  Get on with your life.  People who think that don't understand military deaths, especially for the children.  Your loved one was sent to a far-away land to put their life in jeopardy because their country calls...and everyday they are gone you wonder if it is going to be their last - You wonder it EVERYDAY!  There's no mourning beside a hospital bed, no"prep" time in anticipation - just 365 days of wondering...waiting...

Why do we Soldiers fight?  It's a calling as much as there is one.  Some join for the college, the paycheck - true - but if they stay long enough they become transformed somehow...and it's an amazing thing to see.  Soldiers hate war.  While they risk their lives far away many Americans are oblivious to what they are doing and wonder why? our military does it...That's what those of you who have never been a part of what we do will never understand.  We don't hate the enemy in front of us, we love the Soldier beside us.  That's why we do it.

It's bitterly cold here today at Redstone.  Wind is howling.  Sun trying to  peek through but to no avail.  Just plain dreary.  But the sun is shining inside this chapel.  People are remembering the ones who died.  They're speaking their loved one's name.  They're talking about how they died.  They're remembering that these young men and women LIVED...God bless em all.