Where's Hatchy Milatchy when I need her?

A tune by Rosemary Clooney on her album:  "Clooney Tunes."   Tell you what all you NEPA people.  Once you start singing this song it will be in your head for a long time...

"There's a wonderful place that you really should see/Called the Land of Hatchy Milatchy/All boys and girls love this place yes siree/ Called the Land of Hatchy Milatchy

"Peppermint candy and ice cream is free/In the Land of Hatchy Milatchy/Soda pop fountains are under each tree/In the Land of Hatchy Milatchy

"Everyone rides on a-merry-go-round/All made of sugar and spice/ Lollipops grow right out of the ground/The moon's made of strawberry ice
"If you should run and you trip and you fall/In the Land of Hatchy Milatchy/The ground's made of rubber, you bounce like a ball/ In the Land of Hatchy Milatchy
"Oh you play the whole day and you don't go to bed/In the Land of Hatchy Milatchy/Mommies and Daddies are put there instead/In the Land of Hatchy Milatchy
"Hundreds of bunnies all lay Easter eggs/In the Land of Hatchy Milatchy/Ride on a pony with candy striped legs/In the Land of Hatchy Milatchy
"Each day is always a big holiday. Birthdays and parties galore/ Dollies and bicycles given away, whenever you walk in a store
"When I return then I never will leave/The Land of Hatchy Milatchy/If you want to go all you do is believe/In the Land of Hatchy Milatchy."

Miss Judy taught us how to tie our shoes, to be nice to everybody, and basically got us ready to be good people in a bad world...But Rosemary Clooney - wow!

Not quite like Captain Kangeroo and Mr. Green Jeans.  The three magic words anyone?

Gen'l George Patton and Leon, Sr. Sicily

You'll notice the 'almost' worried look on Dad's face as he is looking up at the infamous General George Patton.  This picture was in a Philadelphia Newspaper.  Father has his normal cigarette in his left hand and Patton is looking directly down at him.  Thankfuly it was a wound that involved blood so he wasn't going to get slapped around.  Patton's famous pearl handled pistols can be seen at his side.
Patton was interesting - Father Leon more so.  I think the main issue was placing your sons in positions best suited to their skills.  So while I liked the gas station and Joe liked the farm, dad put me at the farm and Joe at the Mobil gas station.  Problems were inevitable.  I ran away.  Joe did fine...I still haven't figured that out.  I forgot most of the stuff I did.
Anyway - dad was in some major fights that some of the historians call mind-boggling.  Notably the Invasion of Sicily.  He arrived in Casablanca in late 1942 (this is all off his Form 53-55, dated 1 November 1944, discharge papers).  His discharge papers are dated 22 August 1945 from Indiantown Gap, PA.  His permanent address being 107 Depot Street, Clarks Summit, PA.

It says he was a Technician 5th Grade, Troop A, 91st Recon Squadron  (This was an independent, armored, mobile recon unit.  Each Infantry Division has a recon unit attached to it).  Dad's would have been with the 1st Cavalry Division when they were in North Africa.  He never talked about it that I remember except the times when he said,  "joining the Army will make a man out of you."   

I took it to heart, the Army did make me a better person. 

Leon Sr. spent 1 year and five months training in the U.S.  You can see him in training at A.P. Hill Virginia in the picture to the left.  I drew an arrow over his head to show you where he is.  He arrived in Casablanca on Christmas Eve 1942 (anyone for the Humphery Bogart "play it again Sam" scene?) after a 12 days ocean crossing and left Italy on 11 September 1944 arriving back in the U.S. on 26 September 1944.  He was wounded three times receiving the Purple Heart for each wound.  His first wound was in Sicily on 26 July 1943 (probably the time he saw Patton), the second in Italy on 17 May 1944 (they let you recuperate in hospitals over there due to the manpower shortage), and the third just 10 days later on 27 May 1944 so most likely he was in a field hospital that was bombed.   He did say one time that he ran over a mine and that they found his boots a few feet away from his body so I guess that qualifies as a "million dollar wound," the one that sends you home.  He was not discharged until 22 August 1945 - plenty of time after the war ended - so most likely he was in hospital so that made it a long recuperation.  The wound must have been very serious.  I do remember seeing him the one time ever with his shirt off and there was an obvious bullet or shrapnel wound in his right side.  It looked like his skin was folded in around the entry point. 

I remember a story he once told while under the "influence," where he was in North Africa and in a battle and shot a German Soldier.  He went to look at the Soldier and saw in his helmet the name of the Soldier - "KIRCHER,"   so he may have killed a relative.  My only thought may be that it was one of Rudolf Kircher's sons (he had five) who had written to my grandfather Edward Kircher in 1923 asking for some assistance due to the low value of the Reichsmark.  Grandpa Edward Kircher sent them $20.00. 

Dad's battles were Tunisia, Sicily, Naples-Foggia and Rome-Arno.  So he made it through the Anzio beachhead landings which were deadly.  He was even able to send a postcard home from Italy - the one to the right above which I have.   Here's his discharge papers as well as a picture of the family after he returned home.  Jim Biesecker, a cousin, was a bomber pilot in the war.  You can cut and paste them to make them readable.  Zida (Rifenbary) Kircher is in front in the flowered dress.

Shaking President Carter's hand - 1980 - he thankfully loses to Reagan

It was one of the most memorable moments of my life.  It was 1980.  I was out of the Army since 1976.  My best friend at the time, B. Maury Stout, were hankering to go and see President Carter who was supposed to arrive in Springfield, MO where we were going to school.  His plane was to touch down at the Springfield, MO airport where he would make a speech.  Just a week before, soon to be (thankfully) President Reagan, was at the Springfield, MO fairgrounds near the college.  Maury and I, in addition to another group of friends, were at the fairgrounds and watched in awe as future President Reagan - the greatest President third only to Washington and Lincoln - rode a wagon pulled by mules (from his old Borax Mule Train TV Series) onto the parade field at the fairgrounds - Nancy was with him.  It was electric...this guy was going to win.  Jimmy Carter?  How would you like to sit in in gas lines for 2-3 hours at a time on a convoluted gas 'shortage,' and 18% interest rates and the disaster at Desert One where a bunch of our guys died in the desert trying to rescue the hostages held by the militant Iranian lowlife students, then the  - as Carter called it - the 'Malaise' the country was in - great leadership Jimmy! - and then - MAGICALLY - the day Reagan is elected - the Iranian 'students' let the hostages go because they knew Reagan was ready to turn that waste of a country into a parking lot (that's real strength compared to the current Obamanation apology tour). 

Anyway - we were pumped because Reagan loved the country for real.  And we all saw it at the polls.  Carter barely carried his own state.

Now to Carter.  Maury and I had motorcycles and we were intent on getting to see Carter on the night before he was going to be thanlfully thrown out of office, so it's November 1980.  We both had 100cc Yahamas that could top 50 MPH in a heartbeat - smokin.'  Carter was supposed to land at the Springfield, MO airport for a speech which he hoped would rally the last state he hoped to win.  Thankfully NOT!  We were riding to the airport on a two lane highway and apparently we were not the only ones bent on seeing the failed President one last time.   We all of a sudden ran into a huge amount of cars going that way.  So what do we do?  We get into the oncoming lane and power past all the waiting cars.  What happens next?  A cop comes up beside us off the road and we think we are for sure busted.  He starts waving to us and we thought he was trying to pull us over to give us the ticket.  He wasn't.  He was motioning us to FOLLOW him since they were making the road to the airport one way.  So we followed the cop to the airport and found ourselves in front of everybody.  On arrival at the runway we scoped the situation and Maury - being the brilliant guy that he was - noticed a rope and a podium along a building and figured that was going to be the front row seat so we parked the cycles and grabbed the rope post-haste.  He was right.  The plane landed and a few minutes later and out pops Jimmy Carter and his lovely wife!  He made his way to the right side of the podium and then the crowds figured out where he was going to speak so we had to hang on for dear life as we were getting pushed big-time.  Carter made his way to the podium and made the last 20 minute long diatribe of his Presidiency.  To this day I can't remember what he said since those long gas lines were swimming in my mind.  After it was over he made his way down the left side of the stage and started to move toward us shaking hands. 

Secret Service were all over and Maury and I stuck our hands out to shake Carter's hand.  The Secret Service at first slapped our hands down but we kept putting them back out and then Carter grabbed my hand and shook it with both his hands.  I always wondered if my hand was one of the last few he shook as President.

Anyway, it was a great time and Maury was a great friend.  I say - was.  Maury committed suicide on 11 November 2007.   Not sure if I have much more to say about him...maybe some more...He's buried in the National Cemetery in Fort Leavenworth, KS

Profera's Pizza and Pennsylvania Dutch Birch Beer - That's bangin'

Look - Columbia SC is a pretty cool town. It's the Capital, it has its own University that owns the "USC," letters, (Go GameCocks), people are really friendly down here, climate is not bad except in August when I'm out in the field in 103 degree weather, there's a great museum, lots of activities, all kinds of restaurants but few family owned, etc. But how in the world is it that you can't get a decent slice of pizza down here that doesn't come from a chain store, frozen, or put through an assembly line trolley that's called an oven?
It became my mission and one of the reasons I rented the RV to get up there to PA - space to bring back pizza supplies. My comfort didn't matter - how was I going to get as many of those boxes as I could was the issue. So I brought my 80 gallon cooler and lots of blue ice to get my prize back to SC. Of course you have to wait until the last day you're in PA since it's about 12 hours to SC with two stops in between so keeping the pizza fairly cool was a chore. I've come to the sad conclusion that there's no way to replicate making Old Forge Pizza; crust, sauce and the cheese. I've tried every possible recipe from on-line addicts to 80 year old grandma's and nothing approaches it. I'm sure it has to do with some secret Sicilian concoction started in the back of the kitchen by the 90 year old Grandma who labors over the same pot of sauce she' used for 60 years (no kidding - one guy said that). The kicker is the crust. It is very light and crunchy. The cheese sticks to the roof of your mouth.

Profera's pizza was also served in the Tunkhannock High School cafeteria on Friday's so while I was starving myself Monday - Friday in 12th grade to get down to 112 pounds for wrestling I couldn't wait until after weigh in. I'd get that cold piece of Profera out of the box and munch down around 10 slices. (Yes - it's just as good cold). Then I'd usually pester the unusually intelligent Ken Geary for an hour to get him to let me have one of his raspberry cupcakes. He always gave in - he was an Eagle Scout.

So I settled - but not a bad settlement - Profera's Pizza.  Manufactured in Moosic, (PA), a mile from Old Forge, and a staple in School cafeterias across the NorthEast - but not far south enough to make it worthwhile to ship them to South Carolina.  Man that is such a bummer.  When Grandpa Bill and Grandma Ann Swartz had their grocery store in Mill City, I had Profera's Pizza and a TAB everyday when I got my father mad enough to send me over there for a few days.  Plus, Grandma Swartz would add a slice of cheese on top which made it even more gooey.  Man she could cook.  Mom Alice also made some great pizza on Sunday Nights which was gooey like soup but it was crazy good.  I think Jeff Frank used to want to spend the nights with us on Sunday so he could have that pizza. 

Coal Country - the Big Tour in Scranton

I have been in N.E. PA for years - having grown up there, but never once had I given much thought to the reason N.E. PA thrived so much up until the 1960s.  It was Anthracite Coal.  As opposed to the other kind of coal that was very soft and heard to light, Anthracite Coal burned clean and there was ALOT of it.  England was bad to get some but mining it was another issue.  So thousands of immigrants were shipped in from all over the world to go into the earth and bring the stuff out.  They were called 'coal-crackers' which aptly described their job.  But mining coal really took off when the trains started to run through the area making it easier to get the black rock to the coast.   Bad things came with it though.  Thousands died underground.  Beginning in the last decades of the 19th century, coal miners formed unions and demanded safer working conditions and higher wages. These attempts at unionization were initially met with brutal repression. On Sept. 10, 1897, at the Lattimer mine near Hazleton, PA, a sheriff's posse shot and killed 19 unarmed striking immigrant coal workers; the incident, dubbed the Lattimer massacre, was widely reported and won sympathy for coal miners from large segments of the American middle class. The incident increased the strength of the United Mine Workers, which then called a strike of 100,000 anthracite coal miners in eastern Pennsylvania in 1902, threatening the heating coal supply for the entire Northeast; after President Theodore Roosevelt intervened (the first case of federal arbitration in a labor dispute in U.S. history), the strike ended after 154 days, with management agreeing to moderate pay increases and de facto recognition of the union. However, vicious labor battles in Pennsylvania continued until 1933, when the National Industrial Recovery Act was passed; after 1933, U.S. labor unions were legally recognized, and the next several decades saw dramatic improvements in both the wages and the working conditions of U.S. coal miners. 

Unions had a purpose in their early history but now they're nothing more than a money laundering machine for Democrats (Jimmy Hoffa anyone?).  Worst of all probably was the use of very young children to work in the mine picking through coal as it comes down the coal cracker to get rid of rocks, etc. 

Joe K/Timmer RV envy - no TV for me - thanks Timmer - cooking Ribs at the reunion

Joe K arrived Sunday for the mini family reunion in which I was so mightily blessed to be the main cook and apparently the job everyone else was glad for me to have.  But I love cooking so it was alot of fun for me.  Jimmy Brents cleaned all the BBQ grills up since they hadn't been used in a long time and Aunt Ida was (that afternoon) introduced to the love Lee Douglass has of Tennessee VOLs football - hard to not hear the hoozahs down at Aunt Ida's...lose as they did. 

Joe K's and Timmers obvious RV envy started almost immediately.  "Hey Jed, where's Jethro?"   "They should have paid you to drive that thing all the way from South Carolina."  (Just because it had 1-800-rv4rent on the side and a picture of a Wyoming Rodeo emblazoned on the back?  C'mon!  It was an adventure).  It was a dream machine. 

"Hey, anyone seen Ellie Mae?"  Ha, Ha, Ha...so funny - NOT!  Timmer couldn't quite catch up on the whole Beverly Hillbillies thing since he spends most of his time 'farming' a faux farm on Facebook.  Then to top it off Timmer blows my whole PA vacation by not having a way for me to tie into their TV in the house.  Thanks for hooking me up Timmer...it did allow me to catch up on the first three seasons of HBOs 'Rome' series which was a great program.  We didn't catch the first couple of seasons since we were overseas but watching those DVDs helped us get what was going on.  Cleopatra was definitely a seductress.  HOT!

But it sure was good to see so many of the family show up - looked like about 45-50 in all.  The ribs went quickly since I decided to use a real BBQ recipe and sauce I concocted while living at Fort Campbell.  By the time some of the Billings family showed up it was too late because the Swartz/Kircher Scottish/Germanic clan scarfed up all 12 racks of babybacks that Kevin bought with no guidance from me since he bought them pre-seasoned.  I forgave him because he is from PA and has little understanding of what it means to cook BBQ from a vegeterians point of view who's never tasted a piece of meat in his life (me)...the Billings and all other late comers had to settle for hot dogs and hamburgers which Chrissey was quick to get me to keep turning out. 

Joe Lott and Amy made it in time though as well as my favorite cousin (?) Karen and her smart beyond imagination daughter Amanda.  Amanda's a prodigy in waiting, she just doesn't realize it.  Who takes Chinese in college?  Wow!  Mandarin on top of it.  I thought Greek was tough (it was).  Alot of neighbors and some of Aunt Ida's relatives showed up too which was a nice addition to the party. 

I understand there was also a major party on the Thursday before we arrived down at the old Thompsons ice cream store in Newton (now a bar - not sure of the name - McNeils?).  Apparently SueAnn, Jamie, Jimmy, Lee, and Trey-man, et.al. went there for some wings and challenged the ability of the cooks in the back to keep up with the wings being devoured.  Nice move and remember Southerners like their chicken especially when it has a hot rub and is deep-fried.  I heard that Jimmie had wings bones piled high in front of him so high that it looked like the mountain  from Close Encounters of the Third Kind.  Fortunately, Rita kept the kitchen happy and the bar made some serious money that night.  You can see the Trey-man at left at the Easter party down South.  That kid is the bomb...Jamie and Lee did very well and I'm proud of them.

Steve was Steve.  I still can hear Uncle Rex talk about Steve the last time we were up there last time.  He said, "Steve, if snow was bulls_ _ _, you'd be a blizzard."  I always said Uncle Rex had it right.  But I think Steve may be finally getting it right too.  He has a job most of us wouldn't want to do but he does it and does it well.  Can't say that about too many people today.  We first ran in to him at the Wyoming County Fair doing his job while driving slowly through the crowd looking for his next victim.

Next - Getting insulted at Salerno's in Old Forge is just a matter of course...there really is a good pizza place in Montrose - especially since Aunt Martha paid for it...Aunt Martha became my newest bestest hero an hour later...Grant Adams is the bomb...Sunday - New York Strips - TROVATO'S MEAT MARKET CLARKS SUMMIT PA  ($69.66).  Leon makes sure the Travato kids get a boost for their college.

Here's a picture of William G. Swartz and Anna Mae Billings on a date at the Wyoming County Fair in 1930.  They started the ball rolling for the boys who started it all on the porch in PA.  Good move Grandpa.

Savannah and the 'Real' USC - Old Forge Pizza Reminder

 I came home to a rather odd sight today.  My precious little Savannah is wearing a sweater with the USC Gamecocks (they had the letters first for you USCalifornia people) logo on it since my wife said he was apparently 'shivering' this morning. We left the window open a little because a nice rain was falling and a cool breeze flowing through the house that made for very good sleeping.  It was also apparent when I got home that he didn't care for it.  He walked around like he had just received another one of those mean Veterinarian tests that are only whispered about.  I was a little concerned that Savannah was wearing a sweater that promotes the names of the mascot 'Gamecocks.'  It's so enriching to be driving around Columbia, SC or walking through a Mall and see trucks with decals or women in t-shirts that say, "Go Cocks," or "Love those Cocks (Gamecocks of course).  It's just so different from the Nittany Lions or the Tunkhannock Tigers or Abington Heights falling 'Comets.'

The following is for all of you who've been raising questions about whether there is Old Forge Pizza in heaven or an Old Forge Pizza Heaven in the first place.  Yes, yes and YES!  Especially those of you from Germany and all places North.  Isn't it all about the great pleasures of life that we want to take with us?  Italy has it right (I lived there three years).  Good Food, Good Wine.  The pleasures of a close family.  Verdi said, "You may have the universe, if I may have Italy."  I think I'd take that deal.  But look at these pictures...is that not good looking, good-tasting stuff?  It's 'Brick' Cheese with a little white American mixed in that melts in your mouth.

Savannah gets Blessed - St Francis - Transfiguration Church - Columbia

Savannah got his Blessing today at the Transfiguration Roman Catholic Church in Columbia.  It's a tradition in the Catholic Church to bless animals near or on the Feast of St. Francis (Sandra was able to visit his home in Italy when we were stationed there).  The Priest was a student of mine at the Chaplain School - the advanced course - so I knew him and that's where Sandy and her mother attend.  Quick side note - The Church made casseroles to help raise money for the Church and at the last moment decided to give the money to the Priest so he could send it to his Home Church and his sister in the Philippines since they had so many storms there this past week.  Very small Church.  So Savannah went from the little rag-muffin at right getting a bath in the sink at Fort Benning to being formally recognized by the Church.  I made it a point when the Priest was dispensing the water to be sure that Savannah got a double dose just in case. 

There is an animal heaven right next to the spaghetti and Old Forge pizza heaven.  God made the simple things to enjoy and what better thought to hold to then to know your eternity will be filled with the simple pleasures enjoyed throughout life to the extent you never dreamed.  Kind of like when Aunt Ida bakes pies to give away everyday or Aunt Martha knits things for the Wyoming County Fair then gives them away or Mom Alice who bakes tons of cookies every year and drives 90+ year old Miss Katie to the Church and plays piano for free or Aunt Lynda who just won't give up on the Kircher boys on the porch in PA.  The Priest said it well - "If God didn't love animals, why would he have put them on the ark with Noah?"  He was right on.  Too bad Noah included mosquitoes, could have done without them.

There was quite a mix of animals to include rabbits, birds, cats and dogs.  Savannah caught his first glimpse of a  cat (s) and it was a quick lesson in manners.  When he got his first 'hiss,' he was out the door.  Thankfully the one cat that was out for blood was caged.  There was a short liturgy and the the animals were all sprinkled.  Anyway, when it was over, the Priest paused with Sandra and I and his newest member who didn't seem phased by any of the attention. 

More on the RV Trip to PA at a later time.

The RV catches flak...Joe arrives...Sandra's Initiation to the RV

Before I forget. At the Hagerstown, MD KOA, my lovely little Pekingese puppy Savannah, who some have described as the spawn of the devil (wrongly so) , found a new friend with a plastic fawn outside the latrines...Hagerstown was also the place my lovely wife Sandra 'baptized' the RV with her blood by not ducking as she was getting back into the driver's cab.  Not much blood but plenty of pain associated.  So what else happens that very day?  Of course, she does it AGAIN!  But that's not all friends who read this blog.  She is using the restroom at night and forgets that there is a step just outside the small bathroom which she of course misses and lands on   the royal tushie.  Bruise?  Oh yea.  Large.  Oh yes!  But I'm not allowed to see it since its in one of those "private places."

So now we're settled in PA. I backed the RV in without the help of bus drivin' Kevin and the Timmer.  We go to see Aunt Ida and as usual she is the most pleasant person. No pretenses or "airs." She's just a genuine, pleasant person. But the cravings started early for me. I had to have my pizza from Old Forge, Calarrussos, Amerattas...I didn't care. The habit had to be fed.  Day 4 - First night out to eat. Amerratas in Chinchilla. There is a God - there is a heaven...I found it very quickly when Sandra and I sat down to eat out our first night in glorious, clean air PA in spite of the Gore-maniacs (nuts who've been proven by real Scientists to be completely wrong while he makes millions selling environmentally whacked park residents carbon offsets? - did you know that former President Bush's house in Texas is more environmentally friendly than Gore's in Nashville?  Wait - didn't Gore lose his home state of TN in the election? - bummer - but they know the real Gore's),  that think the earth is warming when it is actually cooling? 
NorthEast PA people call it ordering pizza by 'trays.'  You get a 'tray' of white pizza (lots of rosemary) or a 'tray' of red (mouthwatering cheese)  - or you can order just a 'cut,' which means a slice.  We order four 'cuts,' knowing full well that we had to have some of the spaghetti and Sandra two of those world-class meatballs.  It almost turned me from vegetarianism - but even Uncle Elmer couldn't do that - God rest his soul (I have to say that everytime I mention his name because of Sandra's Catholicism).  All are like biting into a sweet, melting taste of nothingness yet a burst of gooey wonderful flavor in your mouth.  We asked about the portion size of the spaghetti and happened to notice another table who got a 'single' portion which looked like it could feed a family of 6.  So we went with the child's portion.   That was more than enough because I proceeded to eat three of the cuts while Sandra dug into the mouth-watering meatballs and spaghetti.  My cholestoral is genetic so I paused for a minute before I went for slice number 4.  Too late - Sandra got it.  Fortunately she shared the spaghetti and I had all I needed...BTW - my chorestoral has declined from 312 to 185 thanks to Crestor.  All in two months.  So Old Forge (Sicilian) Pizza is still on the list of things I will eat right before my expiration.  We left Amerettos and headed back to the RV for our first cool night in PA.

More to follow...

Joe K - Jed Clampett doesn't live here...1-800-RV4rent is the bomb and Joe's just jealous - so is the Timmer - Timmer bummed me out on the TV hook-up.  Thanks to Cousin Chrissy for the electric and water...Getting insulted at Salerno's in Old Forge is just a matter of course...there  really is a good pizza place in Montrose - especially since Aunt Martha paid for it...Aunt Martha became my newest bestest hero an hour later...Grant Adams is the bomb...

Amanda Adams is the future President of the United States (we can only hope).