"Fudo Kircher" and Caddyshack

Remember the movie "Caddyshack?"  Particularly the scene where Bill Murray is talking to the younger caddy about caddying for the Dalai Lama?  I ran into the same thing...
Murray and the Dalai Lama

Here's Murray lines:  "So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the 18th and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."

I got something going for me too.  The picture at left represents Achala Natha, who is perhaps better known as Bodhisattva Fudo Myo-o, the "Immovable Wisdom King," who is a symbolic representation of the will and determination to stand fast through the struggles of life.  Apparently one of the students of the Chaplain Basic Officer Leaders Course, who happened to be a Buddhist, thought this best represented me?  This is what he told the class, "Bodhisattva Fudo Myo-o is depicted as surrounded by flames which represent the passions of life as he sits firmly on a solid rock which represents his firm resolve to not be moved from his spiritual path.  In particular, he is seen as a figure of the harder variety of compassion, much in the same way a father will stand fast as his children are reprimanded without coddling them or stopping them from receiving the reprimand, knowing it will improve their character.  He is a very strong and paternal figure, whose stern face reflects discipline and dedication to keep his charges away from evil paths.  He is shown carrying a sword and rope, which symbolize his vow to cut away the delusions of all sentient beings and to bind up evil desires so they cannot manifest.  

   "LTC Kircher, throughout CH-BOLC, you have shown this "harder" compassion and the vow to be immovable in our training.  At the same time you have been a very paternal figure, shepherding us through the rigors of training with a certain compassionate firmness.  Based on this, I was inspired to respectfully depict you as "Fudo Kircher."  With all due respect I wish to present this to you as a gesture of appreciation from myself and my classmates.  Thank you Sir."

"So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."

Bob Hope - Christmas Eve 1990

It's not often that you get the chance to meet someone 'really' famous.  One who's been around for a long time and is so hugely well known that to not know his name would mean you've never heard of radio or television.  That one guy for me was Bob Hope.  It was Christmas Eve 1990.   Operation Desert Shield.  I was in Saudi Arabia at King Khalid International Airport (KKIA), as Chaplain for a PATRIOT Missile Battalion (3-43ADA) out of Fort Bliss, TX. Someone knew something because we never thought we'd deploy in a million years. But as soon as Saddam crossed over into Kuwait we had guys on the ground in Riyadh within a week. I remember vividly waiting at Biggs Army Airfield at Fort Bliss, Texas for our flight to the Middle East. The wait was because some guy from Raytheon had to get there with a large pile of 'A' drive computer disks (he had about 40 it looked like to me), which he had to load onto the Patriot Missile Computers. Why?
The Patriot had always worked well before. We later learned that it was to make the Patriot Missile capable of shooting down another missile or rocket - in this case - someone knew that Saddam had SCUD rockets positioned to hamper our advance into Iraq. A Patriot missile had never shot another missile down before. All experimental. When he finally arrived about 0100, 50 of us loaded onto a C5 Starlifter Air Farce (yes - 'Farce' is spelled correctly) plane for the backwards ride to Dhahran, Saudi Arabia - then the vehicle march to Riyadh in the middle of the night. The C5 is a two story aircraft with 75 seats upstairs and you ride backwards. Didn't know if we were coming or going and my vehicle was actually in that same plane downstairs. Food was in small boxes the cheapskate Air Farce guys gave us while they had hot meals topside. Worried? Not us. Not until January when the Air Farce guys were all cheering that they had won the war from the air and the Army and Marines weren't needed. That cheering stopped two days later when the first round of five SCUDs came screaming over our heads toward their refueler aircraft while we're running for bunkers and our PATRIOTs are picking off the SCUDs one by one. Looking back now, I don't think we had an idea of how much danger we were in.

Back from my ADHD shuffle...Bob Hope.  What a guy.  I got to meet him up close and personal because he and his staff used my chapel tent to change and get ready for the show.   There were about 2,000 Soldiers and Airmen around the compound that day as we were waiting for Hope to arrive.  I got a wild hair and decided to go on the stage and tell a few jokes.  I also started to sing the Air Force Song about "going off into the wild blue yonder," but couldn't get anyone to chime in since I mangled the thing and sang about PATRIOT missiles shooting down those very same aircraft...oh well.  As I was in the process of getting booed here comes Bob Hope and his entourage driving around the corner.  

I got off the stage and went to my chapel tent and in he walks with his wife, daughter Dorthy (who he seemed to yell at alot),  Arin Tippen (a newcomer at the time), and holy cow!  Johnny Bench!!!   Man, was it ever autograph time.  Tippen sang some pretty good songs about "you lefties don't like the country then leave it," kind of stuff which made us pretty happy, then Bench got up there and did some bantoring with the crowd.  At about 8:00 P.M., Bob came out of the tent with his golf club of course and sat on the steps leading up to the stage.  He hung around there awhile and I was videoing the whole thing when after about 20 minutes Bench came down and got him to come on stage for his act.  He had the usual G.I. jokes which were pretty good.  He was swinging around his golf club and talking about the girls he couldn't bring with him because the Saudis didn't like the way they were dressed (we did).  

When he was done his wife came up on stage and in the 85 degree nighttime desert calm she sings 'White Christmas.'   The pictures of Bob Hope and Johnny Bench are from the net.  The one on the left of Mrs. Hope was one I took from the side of the stage.
Life's an adventure huh?

Myrtle Beach Adventures - The Plantation Pancake house

Not sure where to begin on this one.  There's cousins Chrissy, Kevin, and her friend Helen.  Helen does all the quilt work while Chrissy sits on the balcony or lounges by the pool eating coconut bon-bons and reading romance novels from the 1930s.  Kevin eats enough spaghetti for 12 grown men after his 4 hour dialysis visit where they must have used the Jolly Green Giants blood and a shot of Bob Hope because he turns into the hungriest comedian on earth - then wonders why Chrissy can't pick him up on time.  Meanwhile, Aunt Jean and Uncle Jim have us over for dinner on Tuesday evening and Jean makes enough baked spaghetti - about 10 pounds of ziti type pasta to feed a platoon of Infantrymen - and some regular spaghetti with sauce and meatballs which Kevin dives in to like Bugs Bunny who just lost his favorite carrot down the rabbit hole with Elmer Fudd close behind with the 12 gauge.  Where does the conversation go?  Family?  Catching up?  Who died this month?  NO!  The poor waitress at the Plantation Pancake House on Highway 17...More to follow...

But first - Dana!!!!   Awesome on 24.  She is the best mole ever...you have got to watch this hour below...

FOX on Demand - 24

Back to reality - I'm not one to complain about waitresses...apparently Chrissy and Kevin are.  If those two don't get their pancakes and eggs on time then baby you better run for the hills...We decide to do a pancake breakfast at the seemingly ubiquitous pancake houses that line Highway 17 in Myrtle Beach.  I can see why that is because most of the vacationers stay up all night drinking so when 10 a.m. rolls around they get the munchers and the cure is pancakes.  Sandra and I sit down...on time - Chrissy and Kevin are late...a young waitress in distress comes around and takes our orders.  I get the pancakes and scrambled eggs cause I like to mix the eggs and dietetic syrup together - those are my pancakes on the right...Everyone else gets something similar except of course Kevin.  The waitress takes our orders and starts to walk away when it suddenly hits the ever present of wit Kevin that the waitress took all of our orders except his.  I guess the shine on his head threw her off cause she just passed right over him big time.  He has to be different of course and orders a waffle with blueberry syrup and whipped cream - like he's some kind of  aristocrat or something.  A few minutes pass and the waitress comes and says our food is coming.  Okay - we're not at McDonalds - this isn't fast food.
A few minutes later my buttermilks come out with hot scrambled eggs and dietetic syrup and I'm doing just fine - that's MY waiter on the left.  Time starts to pass though and there are no pancakes for the cousins...Sandy gets a plate of pancakes and over medium eggs which she defaults to rather than wait for the scrambled she ordered.  Kevins blueberry coated waffle comes out but with no whipped cream...there is an immediate crisis.  How in the world can he manage that waffle with blueberry syrup without the whipped cream he ordered?  Chrissy suddenly reverts to the state house inmate thought pattern and gives the waitress the evil eye because dammit she ordered eggs with her pancakes and only got pancakes - or something like that - whatever - she didn't get what she ordered...Kevin is on the other side of the table picking at his waffle because he is STILL!!!! waiting for his whipped cream while Sandra eats away at her medium eggs and pancakes...all of a sudden a new waitress comes out and says she is now in charge of our table because apparently the younger waitress couldn't handle the stress of four people from Pennsylvania and the girl I fell in love with from El Paso...

There is hope though - Kevin lets her know about his disdain with not receiving his 'Kool Whip'? AND MAN SHE RUNS BACK TO THAT KITCHEN AND POPS BACK OUT WITH A CAN OF THE STUFF THAT SHE COVERS WHAT'S LEFT OF THE WAFFLE KEVIN HAS YET TO FINISH.
In the end - being the kind of guy I am - I leave a $5.00 tip for the poor girl and I think Kevin and Chrissy left 12 cents on the tab...
so much for Myrtle Beach...