Profera's Pizza and Pennsylvania Dutch Birch Beer - That's bangin'

Look - Columbia SC is a pretty cool town. It's the Capital, it has its own University that owns the "USC," letters, (Go GameCocks), people are really friendly down here, climate is not bad except in August when I'm out in the field in 103 degree weather, there's a great museum, lots of activities, all kinds of restaurants but few family owned, etc. But how in the world is it that you can't get a decent slice of pizza down here that doesn't come from a chain store, frozen, or put through an assembly line trolley that's called an oven?
It became my mission and one of the reasons I rented the RV to get up there to PA - space to bring back pizza supplies. My comfort didn't matter - how was I going to get as many of those boxes as I could was the issue. So I brought my 80 gallon cooler and lots of blue ice to get my prize back to SC. Of course you have to wait until the last day you're in PA since it's about 12 hours to SC with two stops in between so keeping the pizza fairly cool was a chore. I've come to the sad conclusion that there's no way to replicate making Old Forge Pizza; crust, sauce and the cheese. I've tried every possible recipe from on-line addicts to 80 year old grandma's and nothing approaches it. I'm sure it has to do with some secret Sicilian concoction started in the back of the kitchen by the 90 year old Grandma who labors over the same pot of sauce she' used for 60 years (no kidding - one guy said that). The kicker is the crust. It is very light and crunchy. The cheese sticks to the roof of your mouth.

Profera's pizza was also served in the Tunkhannock High School cafeteria on Friday's so while I was starving myself Monday - Friday in 12th grade to get down to 112 pounds for wrestling I couldn't wait until after weigh in. I'd get that cold piece of Profera out of the box and munch down around 10 slices. (Yes - it's just as good cold). Then I'd usually pester the unusually intelligent Ken Geary for an hour to get him to let me have one of his raspberry cupcakes. He always gave in - he was an Eagle Scout.

So I settled - but not a bad settlement - Profera's Pizza.  Manufactured in Moosic, (PA), a mile from Old Forge, and a staple in School cafeterias across the NorthEast - but not far south enough to make it worthwhile to ship them to South Carolina.  Man that is such a bummer.  When Grandpa Bill and Grandma Ann Swartz had their grocery store in Mill City, I had Profera's Pizza and a TAB everyday when I got my father mad enough to send me over there for a few days.  Plus, Grandma Swartz would add a slice of cheese on top which made it even more gooey.  Man she could cook.  Mom Alice also made some great pizza on Sunday Nights which was gooey like soup but it was crazy good.  I think Jeff Frank used to want to spend the nights with us on Sunday so he could have that pizza. 

Now - to wash it all down?  The best soda in the entire world - Maybe worthy of it's own heaven...PA Dutch Birch Beer.  I prefer the diet as there's so much sugar in regular soda.  If that can of soda could speak it would be beckoning "come to me," in my dreams.  Just look at it.  Bright yellow...fancy PA Dutch letters...ole time Birch Beer flavor...man - that's livin.'  10 cases of Birch Beer.  10 boxes of Profera's Pizza.  No need for me to leave the house for a few months...well, maybe weeks.